Parents in Munich are bad with their kids

So say I.

Right then. This morning I ventured over the road to Taxisgarten and began heloing her up the slide which she loves so much. She is two and I like to help her by the hand up the steps. Then when she is at the top I have to watch that she doesn't fall down the steps then comes into the slide area properly. She being a fearless brave one comes down backwards and bursts out laughing at the bottom.

Then we went over to the Sandkaste and played in the sand. I built her sandpies and she watched as she cannot just yet build them herself.

Then along comes Mr POoser with his kids. Plonks his huge Mass in the grit, plonks his kid in the sandpit who propmpty begins to eat sand (which the cats may have shat in) unbeknown to our Süddeutsche reader who is busy probably on the motoring section, fag in hand.

I ahev seen children hurt often in Spielplätze, falling over while their parents all read the SZ (always seems to be that paper).

When my daughter wanders over to their children they are totally unfriendly. "Nein" "Du kannst es nicht". The parents are awful "Bitte nicht". "Es gehört jemand anders". usw.

Rant rant.

Well, Jeremy... We are in Germany and sometimes things seem to be a little different here. Personally I would say you ran into some "VERBOTEN" people, doesn't mean that it might happen again. I Know this can be very annoying, but there is nothing you can do about. These people will not change even when you try to discuss the situation with them. Ignore them, well maybe tell them that there is no need to act like that (depending on the situation) if it makes you feel better, and for certain stop thinking about it. Next time things might be different anyway.

There are also nice people out there. You can meet "VERBOTEN" people all over the world, no matter where you are going...

Will

sounds like classic German parenting techniques to me. and your little girl sounds adorable!

I actually saw a woman playing in the sand with one of her little ones the other week, over here by Josephsplatz. was shocked. then later saw the family at a restaurant - mom spoke English so that explains it.

(though, as an aside, it was interesting - mom spoke English to the three kids and the dad spoke German and the kids were answering in either language according to whichever language they were spoken to in)

I don't think it's just German parenting techniques, but has something to do with couples having kids so late here - they have forgotten how to play and are so steeped in their own lives that the kids are just a nuisance to them. It isn't just German - strange to hear me supporting the Germans - but I saw an English lady acting similarly this week. It's a question of age, being able to relate to young kids and enjoy it, and being able to sacrifice the Süddeutsche and the fixed lifestyle of the past twenty years for a while. I feel sorry for all the only kids I see with all their stuff packed neatly into tidy bedrooms, not a sign of the existence of a kid in the rest of the home, nor a book, nor a film, nor anything intellectual in sight, yet they are expected to perform at school! Rant complete.

maybe. In Jeremy's defense though 1) he's about 38 so a late parent himself 2) did admit it was his opinion and that he was just having a rant and 3) given the post time, might have had a nip of red wine to boot.

agree with you on people with kids whose houses are too neat or "cultured", and no sign of the kid anywhere, though, and that's definitely across culture too, poor little things. as I tend to have difficulty putting my own toys away, I daresay my kids will too...

Last summer, I took my son to the playground. He went up to play with these two kids whose mothers were sitting on the bench yapping with one another. They had about a dozen toys to play in the sand with. Ian picked up an unused shovel and started to dig along with the other two. One of the kids grabbed the shovel out of Ian's hands and said with full attitude that it was his. Then I got to see where that attitude came from as the bitch mothers said that the toys belonged to their kids and acted like they owned the sand pit and that my son was not welcomed. I am sure you know what I did next.

I proceded to bitch out the two ladies on the positive aspects of sharing and told them that their kids were going to grow up and be like them and therefore my son and I were leaving because we don't associate with assholes and their rotten offspring.

It is such a relief to know that there are other parents here in Munich who enjoy their children enough to play with them. I was told by perfect strangers that I should let my baby (then 13 months old) go off by herself at the playgrounds. Since then I have felt overprotective and guilty when playing with my daughter in public.

There are crap parents in every country.
To say it is a Munich thing is just bollocks. Take a look at a British playground if you think its so bad in Munich (thats if the local kids haven't vandalised it).

Jeremy, you should check out this book:

Achtung! Vorurteile
by Peter Ustinov

found me out!

You see there are these 99cent litre red wine containers in Tengelmann, bloody things just taste so nice late night. Sort of accidentally put a whole one away last night!

I call it the "trickle down effect"!

This is the sort of crap that really gets me, if its so terrible here then why not just move back to your own country and away from this terrible and hideous place and save your childern...

You will be very hard pushed to find better mannered / friendly kids than here. And for the parents at least you see them with their kids in the parks and playgrounds. Not like in England or Ireland where there are no parks to go too in the first place, and sure why bother I mean sitting in front of the TV or PC screen is just as good and healthy for them or just stuck in the back room of some pub eating and drinking rubbish...

Really get a life and be thankfull that your kids have such a great place to grow up in.

Go Mr Mooman!
actually I quite agree, maybe jeremy just had a bad experience. I don't have that much experience with playgrounds but when I was an au pair here i used to take my kid out all the time and saw loads of german parents playing with their children all the time.
I was at a one last year with a german friend and her kids, we were all playing with them, there was a woman sitting down reading the paper and having a fag, her (very young) kids kept calling over to her to come and play - and she kept hollering back that she was having a smoke and to leave her alone. She was english, now I don't judge that all Brits are like that with their kids, guess you just get dicks everywhere...

@mrmooman

Crap username btw.

I see your join date is this year. I have lived in Germany almsot 5 years now.
As one of the TT old farts I can rightly claim my place here along with many others as being allowed to have a rant and moan about Germany. I actually like Germany in very many ways as if you read my postings you will see. But sometimes on feels the need to let off steam as you no doubt will do when coping with the challenges and solving problems of living in a foriegn country. And thus you too will also indulge in the art of the expat moan.

If Munich is so wonderful as it is now that you are new, why are you on TT only associating with English speakers?

As a stay-at-home parent, I've noticed the same thing in this part of the world as Jeremy has. (I live in Vienna now but I used to live in Germany, part of the time in MUC.)

I have a toddler and when we go to the playground, of all of the parents, I am the only one who plays with my child. Most mothers that I personally see just yell at their kids or get after them for getting dirty. Oh-- and several of the moms at baby swimming would have fits if the babies splashed their faces because their makeup would get ruined. I haven't seen the newspaper thing Jeremy is referring to but I see groups of gossiping parents and I hear them get after their kids for getting dirty or for bothering them when they just want some juice from their sippy cup or something. Oh- and I don't think people dress to play, either. There is no way you can run or climb after a kid if you're wearing stillettos.

There are many things I liked about living in Germany and that I now like about living in Austria but I think there are places that are more child-friendly.

Was out and about yesterday in Herrsching and happened upon a playground. Remembering this thread I stopped to watch for a couple of minutes. The vast majority of parents n' kids seemed to be German and the vast majority of parents were on their knees in the sandbox, manouvering kids in and around swings & roundabouts and generally getting down and dirty. Actually in a couple of cases it looked like the parents were having a much better time than the kids.

Keydeck you may be noticing a difference between city and couzntry whi I am hoping to see when I move to Holzkirchen.


I will defend Germany as quite child friendly, however. Many restaurants have nappy places and in comparison to UK chuldren are welcoime in eating places.

Back to my daughter on my knee who is listening to Old McDonald...

I had to go all the way back to last summer to find an example. That is pretty good odds in Germany's favor. As a parent, I will find kid friendly no matter where I live.

Moomoo here, moo moo there, here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moomoo.

This version even has Kangaroos on McDonalds farm!

steady on! talk about the pot calling the kettle black! And as someone who has lived here for 13.5 years - does that make me more qualified to "rant and moan" about germany - cos the longer i live here the more i realise what a wonderful city it is to live - especially if you have children (it's safe and clean - where else can you say that about)
and just this lunchtime i popped out for a walk and went past the local playground, the vast majority of parents were playing with their kids...

I can't say that Germans don't play with their kids, in fact, most German parents I know play [b]too much[/b with their children, they do everything for them and the children just sit an watch (eg when playing wit blocks or Lego) this often means that the children don't learn to be as imaginitive.

First off thanks, I am delighted that you like my name so much, it took about as long to think off, as yours by the look of it

Second, since moaning rights are definied by the amount of time we have lived here, then I guess that I am right up there along with you. 5 years and counting, and yes I still think its a wonderful city.

Anyway getting back to the topic at hand. All our german friends/neighbours have kids and we are always meeting up in the parks, pools and playgrounds for hours on ends. Any time I go through the ost park, the playgrounds are full with families.

Well, other way around….

riding by S-Bahn to my office 2day I was a witness of a “very interesting� conversation between two American men, in their late thirties, both married with kids, business typ of guys. They sat opposite to me and talked loud, no chance not to hear it.

One of them tells the other that he lately hear his son speaking the word “fuck� ( sorry I´m german I can spell it in the full way!!) and he decided to wash his son´s mouth with soap!!! And the answer of the other guy was “Which sort of soap did you use? Liquid soap?� Answer “No, a bar of soap�. And they both seemed to agree that this way is a proper way to learn the kid not using dirty words, because both of them had the very clear memory of the taste of a mouth washed out with soap from their own childhood.

wtf – is that the way to raise a kid in the US? For me that’s cruelty.

When I brought home a “new� word from the kindergarden my mom was able to explain me in a very clear way (just with words!!) that there are some words she will not accept to hear from me ever again and the new one belongs to this category.

yeah, i have to say that good and bad parenting knows no geographical bounds. i did have trouble when my sisters mini came for a visit. i would take her to the playground in the evenings and ran into a few grumpy parents just home from work people that weren't very interested in their children's playground activities. I think I could find that scenario just about everywhere though.

I did have some kids refuse to play with the mini, one because she tends to like older kids and two because she didnt speak german. she did have a few wee boys try to kiss her though, which freaked her out to no end.

I'm only the parent of a two-month-old at the moment, so the idea of "play" has an entirely different meaning to that we're using for kids who are playground age.

However, I do think that parents really should do a bit of both playing with the kids and having their own time at the playground. Obviously, you have to prevent your child from eating sand, tend to sippy cup needs, and sometimes referee play with other kids. But a parent ought to be able to tell a child politely that s/he is having a conversation, a smoke, whatever, and doesn't want to be interrupted except in an emergency.

I'm not advocating leaving your kid to his/her own devices or ignoring him/her for hours on end. Kids do have to learn how to play independently and respect adults' free time, too.

I've lived in Germany for 14 years now...my previous partner had a five year old son, we were always in the playground when we had spare time, and guess what? so were lots of other German parents with their German children...so your absolute generalization 'parents in Munich are bad with their kids' is shite, I'm sorry.

indulge in your expats moans by all means but don't expect everyone to agree with you, whether they've been here 5 years or 14, whether they've a crap username or a good one (wtf?) and whether they're new TTers or old ones.

I couldnt agree more with this topic. My son and me often go to playgrounds and the kids are obnoxious. Always saying no to everything he takes or does in the sandbox. The parents just watch and never check on their kids. Now I wonder if that is the style of parenting here. I sure do hope my son doesnt turn out like them.

Parents here do play with their kids. But when there is a conflict situation with other kids, they don't interfere and leave it to the kids to sort it out.