The vent

The title says it all. This is the place where you can safely bitch, curse, yell, cry, and scream.

I went to a wedding on Saturday. The wedding took place at the top of a mountain, which I did not realize when choosing my outfit, so I ended up hiking up a mountain, something I hate doing on a normal day anyway, in high heels. What kind of fucking moron gets married on top of a mountain?

Lucky thing you didn't have to attend my brother's wedding on Friday. It was on an island.

I am wearing jeans in this heat. JEANS DAMN IT!!!

When I politely ask a dental patient to open their mouth wider - just fucking do it! If I ask a patient to please turn towards me a little, don't turn right back the second I am in your mouth. I am so sick of patients that try to play a power trip on me. I am the one with sharp instraments that can hurt like hell, if I am not nice. Actually I think I am just tired of being nice to everyone one!

I am also sick of picking crap out of people teeth. We have toothbrushes in the toilets here to fucking brush your teeth so I don't have to pick out Leberkase, and I hate Leberkase!

Think its time to switch jobs!

I am still paying two electric bills.

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My pencil is slightly blunt and I don't have a pencil sharpener!!! Ahhhhhrgh!!!

Cut and paste, cut and paste, cut and fuckin paste.

I keep getting phone calls from people asking me how to say certain things in English. I want to throw the phone at these people and run, run like the wind.

My buyers are so f*cking stupid. They call because they have an error on their screen that says 'Please check that valid to/from date is greater than entry date' and they want to know what is wrong and how to fix it! Hello, can you read? How much do you freaking get paid to do that job? Because if it's more than me, then I want it!

Writing documentation for projects that keep getting consildated but still need PRINCE2 documentation for every last sodding tiny itty bitty section and then going to a meeting and getting asked to write yet more of the things for no purpose whatsoever because as if anyone actually reads this crap and it isn't like I even need to write it to get budget clearance anyway, now is there?

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I'm just back from a 100 mile round trip after picking up my ex and my youngest son from the airport and the tight arsed scottish bastard bought me a cappucino to say thanks!!! Didn't even put his hand in his tight arsed pocket to pay for the car park or the bridge!!!

Glad I got that off my chest.

I'm constantly asked by my colleagues whether people in our UK plant are working or not? How the bleedin hell should I know?

I'm in Switzerland. Switzerland goddammit. I hate the place soooooo fucking dull. It's 33 degrees outside. It's 35 degrees inside this unairconditioned fucking office - yes we did go and buy a thermometer. It's illegal to transport animals in this kind of heat and here I am working. I WANNA BE IN MUNICH IN A BIERGARTEN GETTING SMASHED.

'Hopp Schwiz' my fucking arse.

There's a guy on this board that I'm pretty sure was trying to con people to buy dodgy shit. I'd like to cut him into little small chunks, add some lentil beans and open a nice bottle of chianti... FFFFFHHHUHHUHHUUHH!!!

aaaaah, rantsville. only saw the title and haven't read diddely squat but here it comes...

we 'share' a driveway with our neighbours (who've lived here for 18 years). since access to both of our front doors is via the space directly in front of our garage, we can't park there permanently (some silly agreement in the rental clause agreed 18 years ago). however, you'd think that on a saturday night when we're having a few friends round for dinner it wouldn't be a problem for our friends to park there for 3 or 4 hours, eh? oh, no.

half way through dinner, the door bell. "you can't park there". "we know but it's only for a couple more hours and it's saturday night, surely it's ok?". "nein, das geht nicht! it's in the agreement and we've lived here for 18 years, bla, bla, bla". "ok, <fuck off, mutter, mumble>"

a few days later, we're on holiday and a friend is feeding our cats. on arriving he meets the sour-faced old trout from next door and has a chat for a few minutes about how we're on holiday and he's feeding the cats, etc. all would appear to be ok. she understands what he's doing and she's not complained or anything.

10 minutes later, our friend leaves the house to find a note on his windscreen to say that if he parks there again, she'll call the police and have the car towed away! i mean, what??!

scroll forward a couple of weeks. we're having a barbeque, beautiful weather, summer's arrived and all that. the bell rings. "i've had to open all the doors and windows in our house because your awful, terrible, stinking, fiendish, disgusting, etc, etc, barbeque has stunk out our entire house, AND THEN, one of your cats dared to poke it's nose into the living room, because we had to leave open all the windows, doors, etc because your barbeque is awful..., ..., ...

i was quite literaly speechless (and this is only a very brief synopsis of the insanity of our neighbours which has continued unabated for the 8 months since we moved in). so i said, in english, "i'm sorry, i just can't be bothered with this any more", and shut the door in her face.

silence for the last 2 weeks and she's even smiled at me since then, which strikes me as bizarre considering my (in my own opinion) justified behaviour.

ahhh, that's better. if you'd like more details of some of the insanity from our neighbours, please feel free to PM me. until then, i'll sit back, have a fag and feel relieved about having ranted about it to someone other than my wife and our other friends here in erding (who are german and think they're totally ga-ga too).

We are off to a wedding Saturday, it also happens to be the Kinder Fest in our village.
I nearly fell off my chair when my son came home and said that his bloody teacher wanted an entschuldingungs brief!!! ########## splutter! what! its a saturday surely they can`t encroach on our weekends as well, says I, apparently they can!
I am now one gobsmacked mother.
who will still NOT be writing any excuse note.

Gotta pay the Makler tomorrow. Nice shiny new apartment coming. But the fees!
Brought a friend with me to ask for a 'discount'. Didn't happen. "But what about the blah blah (all in German)" He asked about 5 different ways for a little "under the table" discount or "nice guy rabbat" but the guy wouldn't budge. So that fat envelope remained hidden in my bag and goes back into the bank. So it can go into his bank tomorrow.

The humble tetra pak milk carton is one of the great pieces of design the world has seen. Trust me on this one, it is. It obeys the number one rule of design and engineering, -Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS)

Why then, do people, most notably the Germans, continue to try and reinvent the bloody thing? All these nozzle designs are rubbish as they move away from the simplistic beauty of the tetra pak design, i.e. it's made from a single component, - cardboard. Instead they introduce extra parts made from different materials, thus you have increased manufacturing cost as well as introducing a problem for recycling, i.e. mixed materials.

Well I think I have the answer. As some on here know, I've spent most of this year out of Germany, in a country where they recognise that the wheel doesn't need reinventing, i.e. they have beautiful "non improved" milk cartons. However, joining me in this wonderful land of unspoilt packaging are a hundred or so German colleagues. Every day when I make my cup of black, non-"gay", tea, and go to add that dash of milk ("tea without milk is uncivilised" - Donald Pleasance, The Great Escape), I'm confronted with an abortion of a milk carton. It's as though they had tried to open the thing with their teeth.

The other day I opened a carton myself and it was as though I'd opened the cave of Ali Baba. "Wie haben Sie das gemacht?" asked Herr Enk* unbelievingly, as though my mastery of the milk carton was on par with Shane Warne's ability to turn a cricket ball or the Italian soccer (football) team's ability to annoy me.

Germans can't open milk cartons. Why?

* - Name changed to protect the incompetent.

I've got nothing to rant about atall today. Nowt. Diddly squat. I suppose at a push, I could say that I am a bit gutted that I cannot spend the whole of today lying naked in a paddling pool drinking beer and shouting obscenities at the neighbours. Thats pretty much it though. Not much venting to do right now.

grrrr - got a note on my bike from a busybody 2 days ago saying "please don't leave your bike here"
no name or anything, so i thought "piss off" and ignored it
and when i went to pick it up last night to cycle off to meet some mates some bleedin swine had twisted it so that the brakes are now well-dodgy (the cables are all mangled) and broke my front light
makes me feel like leaving it there over the weekend and squatting behind the hedge over the road with a camera to catch the fuckers red-handed
i wouldn't mind, but there's no sign anywhere saying "anlehnen blah blah verboten" and the hausmeister is OK with me leaving it there (i checked with him especially)
grrrrrrr

P1 wouldn't let me in last night because I am English. The bouncers words (translated from the serbo-german): "we don't want english people in here". YOU FUCKING WHAT? I mean, for fucks sake, I could've been American or Aussie or Canadian or kiwi for all he knew. Bastard.

If he had said "no sorry, you are too drunk, we shut in 15mins and your mate is wearing shorts and flip-flops" (which when the manager came out to calm the comotion down turned out to be the real reason) then fine. But why blame it on my ethnicity? Bastard. Should've gone to Milchbar.

Christ I miss the Munich nightlife - it was always so exciting going out and not knowing if you were going to get in or not...

Still mad props to him (bouncer) for guessing your NATIONALITY (not your ethnicity guv) correctly. Not bad fer a Serb

AAAARRRHGGGGG ''*@**//*...AARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I don't believe it: My hypersensitive paranoid control freak of a co-worker who can't stand the smell of recycled garlic and can't comment on nice new clothes without pointing out that they don't match your shoes offered to pick up my medicine from the pharmacy during her lunch break. The world is comig to an end!

I am having a day free but have to wait for the UPS delivery guy. As he's not showing up, I sit and sweat in my overheated flat--damn it!

someone in the other end of the office is speaking loudly enough to hear his every word for this entire lunch hour. he seems to know everything about fucking everything ranging from covalent fucking bonds that make up water, to how amazing he was to finish his course at uni (only 6 ou tof 97 that started, wow amazing!), to are dreams what is happening in another planet. wtf.

i dunno if im more annoyed at the silly bint that is just listening to all this and encouraging him or him for going on for a whole fucking hour.

actually tearing my hair out. going for a walk.

oh lord onto electrons now fucking hell end it.

My vent of the day: My husband called me up at 5:45 to inform me that he was bringing over 4 colleagues of his. And that they'd all be arriving in 15 minutes. Now... that's irritating, but I guess it's forgiveable. What really pissed me off though was that when they got to our place, one of the guys said, "Wow, this is a big flat" and proceeded to snoop through the entire apartment (including just opening my bedroom door and waltzing in to take a nice long look around). Who does that?! Jesus. I mean, snoop through my bathroom drawers if you want ( all the good stuff's hidden anyway) but if the fucking bedroom door is closed, then you just don't walk in.

Ok, another thing that really pissed me off today: Yesterday I had to take the sbahn into the city, so I went in and bought a Wochenkarte. Today I was on my way into the city again and got checked. So when I showed the guy my ticket he said, "Sorry, this is for next week." To make a long story short, apparently if you buy a weekly ticket from Thursday onwards, the shops automatically give you the weekly ticket for the following week. I got a fine for 40 Euros, told the sbahn cop I thought it was a load of shit, and went on to have a crap day. Fuckers.

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%&$§*/()/(&T%$$%&&/%&$E gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Stupid people who cannot plan a time schedule - a budget meeting was rescheduled 4 times, the boss cancels my colleague from the meeting (making me assume I was cancelled out as well) then I get a phone call that the meeting started at 10. Of course I'm in the home office and wearing sweats. So I jump into work clothes, cancel a doctor appointement scheduled for my lunch break, race over here to be told to "wait" until my department is up (so they are doing each department individually, fine), they'd call.
The meeting was scheduled from 10 to 12 - and THEY STILL HAVEN'T CALLED. I have a flipping mountain of work to get done before I go on vacation and am STUCK here waiting for them to argue about a euro here or there. grrr...

What´s the point of having air-conditioning if you´re not allowed to use it? Every day the technician comes round telling us to switch it off, so that the "important" machines keep working: Would they prefer people to stop working???

It's called anti-perspirant! Damnit, people, buy it, use it! No one wants to smell your pits from 20 yards away! Damn smelly bastards everywhere!

Whoever invented suits for business attire should be shot. It is so damn hot I cant even formulate a proper rant, the only thing I can think about venting right now is my ass. Im debating if anyone would notice if I sat here without pants. Nevermind, I should just spray paint some on. Whatever. Why the hell isn't it quitting time yet dammit.

Why does nobody ever indicate more than 2 metres before they are gonna turn in this country. Drives me insane

driving manners have gone downhill, you are lucky if these drivers indicate at all...

If I hear that bloody "One" song with Bono and Mary J. Blige another time today, I might rip my kitchen radio out of its sockets and throw it out the window. Which would be a shame, because I actually like the radio quite a bit.

I woke up last night at 3am, but it was alright as I went straight back to sleep. I was almost perturbed by the event.

Why oh why at every frikkin train station, and at every frikkin stop, do they have to announce all the impending train departures. I've got a frikkin timetable, I've got to frikkin Munich, I know what I'm doing FFS! I'm not interested in knowing when the next train to frikkin Venice is!!!

Had a skin cancer check-up in May and the doctor concluded that a couple of not-so-beautiful looking beauty spots would have to go (as they were pre-cancerous). Instead of taking them out right then and there (like what would have happened in Australia) the doctor said I would have to come back later to have them removed. I was then sent to the front desk to make a new appointment - only to find out that the soonest I could take care of the problem would be in July. (Over a month later, in the middle of summer and in a new quartal). Fast forward to now - it's July, I have stiches in my back that I'm not allowed to get soaking wet, it's fucking humid and all I want to do is go swimming (I'd also like to be able to take a nice long shower without worrying about getting the stitches saturated) ... I can't wear any of my nice singlet tops without exposing the ugly patchwork display on my back ... and am just generally pissed off at the shitty timing.

So concludes my rant for the month.

That sucks but at least you're healthy now!

and good looking anway so dont worry too much. glad you ok though nixe.

I have a vent: I'm doing a trainee program which allows me to switch departments once in a while. I finally get to do the cool rotation starting next week in Marketing and my colleague from my normal department put me down as her replacement for when she's out of town the next 3 weeks.

I'm apparently the only one who is up-to-date enough to take over her tasks, which she assures me won't be many and which is bs because I haven't been working on the project for ages. The only reason I could possibly be up-to-date at all is because I sit in the same room with her and hear all her phone calls.

I'm going to be really annoyed if my workload doubles because of this or if my ability to shine during this rotation is halted because I'm distracted with her work. Grrr.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

This is for my hypersenstive paranoid control freak co-worker who reacts strongly to the after-smell of garlic.
AAAARRRRRGHHHH!!! NEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!! IBERIAN IDIOTS!!!
She has been on the phone with Iberia for an upgrade and they cannot get their act together.
P.S. 10 mins into the phone call Iberia experienced a system crash. She's almost in tears now.

Fucking delayed flights!!! Five of the eight flights that I have been on in the last two weeks have been delayed, not because of weather or other natural causes, but because the flippin crew was late, the plane was late, or there was no bloody pilot!!! I spent HOURS in Atlanta, Key West, and Cincinnati airports, waiting for fucking planes!!! That is NOT how I wanted to spend my vacation. So folks, don't fly Delta. They suck.

I had this several times last week with Lufthansa and American Airlines, I am kind of glad I am not the only one.

Misery loves company, I suppose.

The saga continues... Ok, so not Delta this time but US Air. When I flew to the States two weeks ago, we were delayed leaving Germany by an hour. Somehow we managed to make up the time in the air and land on time. HOWEVER, Philadelphia airport is the most asinine airport I've ever been to and I barely made my connection in time due to the bloody layout of the airport and having to go thru security twice!!! I'm all for security but really, how much trouble can I get in between baggage claim and the next terminal??? There's nothing there!!! Anyway, so I made my flight which, surprise surprise, was delayed. Then, we proceeded to sit on the tarmac for 2 hours waiting to take off because traffic was that backed up!!! Unbefuckinglievable. So, coming back, my flight out of Baltimore was delayed but I still made my connection (luckily). Unfortunately, my suitcase did not. My luggage is still sitting in Philly with a good chunk of my worldly possessions inside of it.